The last 18 months have been crazy to say the least. From packing up my belongings and moving away from my home town to venture on to the next stage of my education, to moving in with five people I had never met, to being forced to be in lockdown every day together due to the current pandemic. Change and disruption are inevitable in life, including in the workplace.
I had the opportunity to work at a smoothie bar for 6 years whilst I was at high school. Within this job, I learnt great skills I will value for my future career endeavours. When thinking of an experience I had of responding to disruption or change I had to ‘re-member’.
The term ‘re-membering’, was originally coined by Barbara Myerhoff (1982, 1986). Myerhoff used the term re-membering to describe a ‘special type of recollection’. To signify a special type of recollection, the term ‘Re-membering’ may be used, calling attention to the reaggregation of members, the figures who belong to one’s life story. (Myerhoff 1982, p.111) (Carey, 2009)
The disruption/change I experienced was due to my boss hiring a girl that was extremely rude and difficult to get along with. It made the work place uncomfortable and quite unenjoyable. As employees we had the privilege to control the music that was played over the loudspeaker. The songs chosen were always meant to be kid-friendly and light hearted. On this one occasion, this individual’s phone was plugged in, controlling the music. An inappropriate song came on due to the playlist being on shuffle, which I asked politely if I could change the song. She agreed, as I went to change the song a text appeared. This particular text was by the sender ‘Mum’ which stated – “Victoria is a b**ch anyway”. This made me extremely uncomfortable, awkward and shocked.
I did not confront her at the time due to being so taken back by the experience, so instead I went to an outsider witness – my boss.
An outsider witness is an invited audience to a therapy conversation– a third party who is invited to listen to and acknowledge the preferred stories and identity claims of the person consulting the therapist. Outsider witnesses may be part of a person’s existing community – family, friends etc; or they may be invited from outside these networks, in which case they may be professionals. (M. Carey, S. Russell, 2009).
In this conversation, I privately consulted him with what I saw and my feelings about how uncomfortable I felt working with this individual. As I had been working there for over 5 years at this point, he knew I was a reliable and honest worker. He immediately was taken back by what I had experienced, and apologised that I had to go through that at his workplace. He assured me that he would no longer roster us on together. This eased my nerves and I thanked him. He also assured me that he would have a discussion with the individual.
It was important for him to gauge the individual’s emotions and why that comment was said. If we can interpret another person’s behaviour or manner in a way that causes us to think we know what’s going on in their emotions. Brene Brown states in her interview with 60 minutes “don’t expect great results without vulnerability.” (B. Brown, 2020)
I had to be vulnerable and transparent with my boss to gain change and comfort from the disruption that was occurring in my workplace. From this conversation, it ultimately led to a better outcome.
So what has all these self-developments led to my professional values?
With reference to this particular incident, I would have tried to put myself in the individual’s shoes.
As Michael White explains the term ‘‘absent but implicit’’ . Which can be defined as “the understanding that in the expression of any experience of life, there is a discernment we make between the expressed experience and other experiences that have already been given meaning and provide a contrasting backdrop, which ‘‘shapes’’ the expression being foregrounded. In therapeutic conversations, we can use the concept of the ‘‘absent but implicit’’ to enquire into the stories of self that lie beyond the problem story.” (Micheal White, 2020)
From being a younger individual that has just started whilst I had been there longer and held greater authority. I believe the comment was made due to the individual thinking I was ‘bossy’ and ‘demanding’, whilst I was just doing my assignment job as the manager/trainer. I believe the situation would have been avoided if I had an understanding of her experiences and backdrop.
References
Browns, B., 2020. Youtube. https://youtu.be/e257BL851Uw – Viewed 28 August 2021
Carey, M., 2009. The Absent but Implicit: A Map to Support Therapeutic Enquiry. Narrativepractices.com.au. https://narrativepractices.com.au/attach/pdf/Absent_But_Implicit.pdf – Viewed 29 August 2021
Carey, M., n.d. Outsider-witness practices: some answers to commonly asked questions. Narrativepractices.com.au. https://narrativepractices.com.au/attach/pdf/Outsider_Witness_Common_Questions.pdf – Viewed 29 August 2021
Russell, S. and Carey, M., n.d. Remembering: responding to commonly asked questions. Narrativepractices.com.au. http://narrativepractices.com.au/attach/pdf/Remembering_Common_Questions.pdf – Viewed 29 August 2021
Victoria Bobbermien 